I didn’t catch Henry Paulson’s testimony in front of congress yesterday, but I heard it went something like this -- with sincere apologies to David Mamet.
Paulson: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about... bitching about that bill you passed, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to testify, somebody that doesn't want what you're proposing, some intern you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Bernanke: All but one.
Paulson: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Schumer) Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for bailers only. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Bush and Cheney. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Schumer?
Schumer: Yeah.
Paulson: You call yourself a Senator, you son of a bitch?
Dodd: I don't gotta listen to this shit.Paulson: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're screwed. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to pass this bill, starting today. Starting with today’s testimony. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this year’s budget. As you all know, first prize is a stable economy. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of junk bonds. Third prize is you're screwed. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got loans. Fannie and Freddie paid bad money. Get their names to buy them! You can't buy the loans you're given, you can't buy shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!
Schumer: The loans are weak.
Paulson: 'The loans are weak.' Fucking loans are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business twenty-eight years.
Dodd: What's your name?
Paulson: FUCK YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you got elected and make a hundred and sixty-nine thousand dollars a year, I’m about to control one trillion dollars. That's my name!! (to Schumer) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game? You can't bail them. Go home and tell your constituents your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?
(Paulson flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABB, and AIDA.)
Paulson: A-B-B. A-always, B-be, B-bailing. Always be bailing! Always be bailing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest rates, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest rates are low-- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You bail or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get the money out there!! You got the taxpayers comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Dodd) What's the problem pal? You. Dodd.
Dodd: You're such a hero, you're so rich. How come you’re coming down here and waste your time with such a bunch of bums?
(Paulson takes out his proposal)
Paulson: You see this proposal? You see this proposal?
Dodd: Yeah.
Paulson: That proposal cost more than the Iraq War. We lost four hundred and eighty-two billion dollars last year. How much did you earmark? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good Senator? Fuck you -- go home and play with your constituents!! (to everyone) You wanna legislate here? Bail!! (to Reed) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get in a town hall meeting?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there today with the materials you got, and borrow myself fifty billion dollars! Today! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to buy bad real estate loans?(He pulls something out of his briefcase)
Paulson: It takes brass balls to buy bad real estate loans with taxpayer money. Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's ours. You don't -- I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out of here and bail, bail, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Then you know what you’ll be saying, a bunch of losers sitting around in Stetson’s Bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be a Senator, it's a tough racket." (he takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase) These are the new leads. These are the Goldman Sachs leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to Bernake) They're for bailers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Dodd) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Bush and Cheney asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Last Exit Before the Abyss
Congratulations to the Bush Administration and John McCain -- we now have socialized capitalism! Excuse me while I yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater, but the seats and screen really are burning this time. Yes, after years of supporting massive de-regulation and profiting from unnecessary war, oil speculation, and the buildup of a phony “ownership society” stuffed with junk loans, they and their cronies have finally driven the car completely off the cliff. The United States will now have so much stupefying, astronomical debt, that our future Chinese overlords will be thanking them for speeding along the process of Sino-domination far sooner than anyone could have imagined.
Consider that Phil Gramm (you remember him, he of the squinty-eyed, sour-pussed “Americans are suffering from a mental recession,” and are “a nation of whiners”) is John McCain’s longtime friend, and “former” (i.e. “still current”) economic guru, and you begin to understand that of course, one of the notorious Keating Five would say that the fundamentals of the economy are sound, on the very day that the fundamentals have a catastrophic, Chernobyl-style meltdown. The longtime foe of all regulation, Gramm may be the one individual most responsible for this mess, pushing through his infamous de-regulatory poison pill in the banking reform laws of 1999. Oh, and if you like what has become of this economy, good news via McCain spokesperson Tucker Bounds, if McCain wins, there’s a good chance Gramm is our next Treasury Secretary!
While it’s true that McCain, Bush, Gramm, their friends, flunkies, and relatives have done wonderfully these last eight years -- as has most of the top 1% of the country, there’s a downside -- the other 99% of us are taking it like suckers. Wages have been flat, more people have slipped into poverty, and gas and food prices have gone through the roof -- that is if you still have a roof. Now McCain says he’s going to instill strict regulation and oversight on the fat cats on Wall Street, and clean up Washington?! Excuse me while I vomit through my laughing. And hey, let’s not forget the other original maverick, the folksy, fightin’ lipsticked pit-bull hockey mom who can see Russia when she stands on her tippy toes, Governor Sarah Palin, who promises to – oh, who gives a shit?! McCain’s selection of this ridiculous cipher should already disqualify him from ever being President.
Old Man McFlip-Flop, who once said he could not “in good conscience” support the Bush Tax cuts for the wealthy, has become unhinged, hiring the very Bush people who smeared him in South Carolina in 2000, all in a feverish, last, desperate attempt to fulfill his misguided ambition. He now of course supports those same cuts, and has flip-flopped on issue after issue, but at least it’s become obvious he doesn’t have a good conscience. If the McCain/Palin ticket is somehow able to sneak into the White House – essentially completing the circle Bush started of fooling not quite all the people all of the time (but just enough), then the door will finally be closed to pull us back from the abyss.
It’s no wonder Republicans always run against government, because when they’re in charge, they run our government into the ground. To the good people in Ohio, Florida, and all of the bedrock Red States, I beseech you, for the love of God, please stop voting against your economic self-interest. How many election cycles must we go through where fringe cultural issues that Republicans have used to divide people for decades supersede common sense and rational thought? Two gay people who you don’t know getting married somewhere simply isn’t as big a deal as another local factory closing its doors and the current and future Neocon Wars that will send your sons and daughters off to die.
When Carter left office in 1980, our total national debt stood at 937 billion dollars. When Reagan left, it was almost 3 trillion, a number that was unfathomable back then, but nowadays, hey, a trillion just seems like another number. When the first George Bush left office (oh, how we miss the days of the relatively caretaker-ish Bush I) it was about 5 trillion, then came an eight year respite of steady economic growth with restrained spending as Clinton left office with a balanced budged, a surplus of 200 billion and the overall debt actually trending downward.
Ah, but then here came the Neo-Conservatives, ostensibly for less government and spending, right? Oh, right, never mind. Under George W. Bush and his cronies, we have the largest government in our history, the biggest deficits, two wars with no end in sight, one of which absolutely should have never been fought, hasn’t accomplished much of anything, and will end up costing the nation another 3 trillion dollars that, oh by the way, we’re also borrowing, so just add that to the Chinese take-out tab. I’m sure our great-grandchildren will still be thanking us for that as they forage for food in a post-economic-apocalypse where people remember the good old days when America wasn’t last known around the globe for cowboy diplomacy, torture, and fiscal idiocy.
If you truly think these last eight years have been wonderful, by all means vote McCain/Palin. The corporate lobbyists and former Bush people who run their campaign would love to finish the job. After all, that car they drove over the cliff and into the abyss still needs blown up real good! When I wonder how the Republicans still have the gall to
even run a candidate this time around, when 80% of Americans realize the country is wildly off track, I look at the close polls, and pray (a miracle for an Agnostic) that collectively, we can’t be that dumb, can we?
This time can be different, but it won’t be easy. Obama has tapped into a new energy, with new voters, unprecedented grassroots efforts, and a rare display of intelligence, inspiration, and thoughtfulness. He can remain calm and collected as always, but for his supporters, and those of us who are beyond fed up with the last eight years, a little bit of anger would be nice. I sometimes equate the Bush Administration to a bad movie with so many plot holes that don’t make sense, that one can’t quite keep track of what’s going on. Karl Rove’s political philosophy seems to be that if you lie repeatedly and screw up so many times, it eventually becomes mundane. But just off the top of my head I can recall almost the entire downward spiral; no federal stem cell research, abstinence-only sex-ed, Enron and Bush’s buddy “Kenny Boy” Lay, the failure to heed the warnings prior to 9/11, not capturing or killing Bin Laden, the entire Iraq War fiasco starring the bumbling Bremer, the torture at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, Rummy, the pathetic response to Hurricane Katrina and “Heckuva Job Brownie,” the nomination of Harriet Myers (holy crap!), warrantless wiretapping and Alberto Gonazlez, Monica Goodling, and the repulsive Rovian standard of politics before policy. Let’s also not forget Dick Cheney – I mean, how dark does your soul have to be when you shoot a friend in the face and he ends up apologizing to you? All of this can be a bad memory come November, albeit, one with a hefty price tag. They’ll be a hangover for some time, as it’s a deep, deep hole we’re down. “But let us begin,” as John F. Kennedy once said.
I often think it wouldn’t be so bad for America to someday become one of those amazing tourist destinations like Italy, where the ruins of past world domination exist alongside a slower-paced lifestyle of fine food, wine, and hand-crafted sports cars. Unfortunately, I was reminded that when Rome fell, it wasn’t very pretty – with moral rot, civic decay, financial collapse, massive death, destruction, and all the unpleasant messiness that inevitably comes with the end of an empire. Oh, I’m sorry – was I just using scare tactics? Maybe Democrats can learn something from Republicans after all.
-David Schrader,
U.S. Taxpayer
September 22, 2008
Consider that Phil Gramm (you remember him, he of the squinty-eyed, sour-pussed “Americans are suffering from a mental recession,” and are “a nation of whiners”) is John McCain’s longtime friend, and “former” (i.e. “still current”) economic guru, and you begin to understand that of course, one of the notorious Keating Five would say that the fundamentals of the economy are sound, on the very day that the fundamentals have a catastrophic, Chernobyl-style meltdown. The longtime foe of all regulation, Gramm may be the one individual most responsible for this mess, pushing through his infamous de-regulatory poison pill in the banking reform laws of 1999. Oh, and if you like what has become of this economy, good news via McCain spokesperson Tucker Bounds, if McCain wins, there’s a good chance Gramm is our next Treasury Secretary!
While it’s true that McCain, Bush, Gramm, their friends, flunkies, and relatives have done wonderfully these last eight years -- as has most of the top 1% of the country, there’s a downside -- the other 99% of us are taking it like suckers. Wages have been flat, more people have slipped into poverty, and gas and food prices have gone through the roof -- that is if you still have a roof. Now McCain says he’s going to instill strict regulation and oversight on the fat cats on Wall Street, and clean up Washington?! Excuse me while I vomit through my laughing. And hey, let’s not forget the other original maverick, the folksy, fightin’ lipsticked pit-bull hockey mom who can see Russia when she stands on her tippy toes, Governor Sarah Palin, who promises to – oh, who gives a shit?! McCain’s selection of this ridiculous cipher should already disqualify him from ever being President.
Old Man McFlip-Flop, who once said he could not “in good conscience” support the Bush Tax cuts for the wealthy, has become unhinged, hiring the very Bush people who smeared him in South Carolina in 2000, all in a feverish, last, desperate attempt to fulfill his misguided ambition. He now of course supports those same cuts, and has flip-flopped on issue after issue, but at least it’s become obvious he doesn’t have a good conscience. If the McCain/Palin ticket is somehow able to sneak into the White House – essentially completing the circle Bush started of fooling not quite all the people all of the time (but just enough), then the door will finally be closed to pull us back from the abyss.
It’s no wonder Republicans always run against government, because when they’re in charge, they run our government into the ground. To the good people in Ohio, Florida, and all of the bedrock Red States, I beseech you, for the love of God, please stop voting against your economic self-interest. How many election cycles must we go through where fringe cultural issues that Republicans have used to divide people for decades supersede common sense and rational thought? Two gay people who you don’t know getting married somewhere simply isn’t as big a deal as another local factory closing its doors and the current and future Neocon Wars that will send your sons and daughters off to die.
When Carter left office in 1980, our total national debt stood at 937 billion dollars. When Reagan left, it was almost 3 trillion, a number that was unfathomable back then, but nowadays, hey, a trillion just seems like another number. When the first George Bush left office (oh, how we miss the days of the relatively caretaker-ish Bush I) it was about 5 trillion, then came an eight year respite of steady economic growth with restrained spending as Clinton left office with a balanced budged, a surplus of 200 billion and the overall debt actually trending downward.
Ah, but then here came the Neo-Conservatives, ostensibly for less government and spending, right? Oh, right, never mind. Under George W. Bush and his cronies, we have the largest government in our history, the biggest deficits, two wars with no end in sight, one of which absolutely should have never been fought, hasn’t accomplished much of anything, and will end up costing the nation another 3 trillion dollars that, oh by the way, we’re also borrowing, so just add that to the Chinese take-out tab. I’m sure our great-grandchildren will still be thanking us for that as they forage for food in a post-economic-apocalypse where people remember the good old days when America wasn’t last known around the globe for cowboy diplomacy, torture, and fiscal idiocy.
If you truly think these last eight years have been wonderful, by all means vote McCain/Palin. The corporate lobbyists and former Bush people who run their campaign would love to finish the job. After all, that car they drove over the cliff and into the abyss still needs blown up real good! When I wonder how the Republicans still have the gall to
even run a candidate this time around, when 80% of Americans realize the country is wildly off track, I look at the close polls, and pray (a miracle for an Agnostic) that collectively, we can’t be that dumb, can we?
This time can be different, but it won’t be easy. Obama has tapped into a new energy, with new voters, unprecedented grassroots efforts, and a rare display of intelligence, inspiration, and thoughtfulness. He can remain calm and collected as always, but for his supporters, and those of us who are beyond fed up with the last eight years, a little bit of anger would be nice. I sometimes equate the Bush Administration to a bad movie with so many plot holes that don’t make sense, that one can’t quite keep track of what’s going on. Karl Rove’s political philosophy seems to be that if you lie repeatedly and screw up so many times, it eventually becomes mundane. But just off the top of my head I can recall almost the entire downward spiral; no federal stem cell research, abstinence-only sex-ed, Enron and Bush’s buddy “Kenny Boy” Lay, the failure to heed the warnings prior to 9/11, not capturing or killing Bin Laden, the entire Iraq War fiasco starring the bumbling Bremer, the torture at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo, Rummy, the pathetic response to Hurricane Katrina and “Heckuva Job Brownie,” the nomination of Harriet Myers (holy crap!), warrantless wiretapping and Alberto Gonazlez, Monica Goodling, and the repulsive Rovian standard of politics before policy. Let’s also not forget Dick Cheney – I mean, how dark does your soul have to be when you shoot a friend in the face and he ends up apologizing to you? All of this can be a bad memory come November, albeit, one with a hefty price tag. They’ll be a hangover for some time, as it’s a deep, deep hole we’re down. “But let us begin,” as John F. Kennedy once said.
I often think it wouldn’t be so bad for America to someday become one of those amazing tourist destinations like Italy, where the ruins of past world domination exist alongside a slower-paced lifestyle of fine food, wine, and hand-crafted sports cars. Unfortunately, I was reminded that when Rome fell, it wasn’t very pretty – with moral rot, civic decay, financial collapse, massive death, destruction, and all the unpleasant messiness that inevitably comes with the end of an empire. Oh, I’m sorry – was I just using scare tactics? Maybe Democrats can learn something from Republicans after all.
-David Schrader,
U.S. Taxpayer
September 22, 2008
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